Queen Maureen

This post will be a shorter one. Do you ever hear your friends say terrible things about themselves?  Have you ever wondered how to helpfully respond when they do this?  It can be hard to know exactly what to say, and it's painful to hear a friend say things like, "I'm so stupid", or "I suck at life".  I have heard people I really care about say these things, and I've found myself saying them too.  It's hard on both ends!  So what do we do? When someone expresses a sentiment like this, don't shut them down.  Clearly, it's something that's been going through their head, and will continue if it's not addressed.  If your friend says "Nobody loves me" or "I'm ugly", clearly this is something they are either believing, or it has just popped up on a whim.  Don't suppress it.  If you respond by saying, "Oh that's terrible, don't say that!", all you are telling them is that you don't want

When I was very young, I somehow got the idea that a boy wouldn't like me unless I was more like a boy.  I thought that feminine qualities were seen as superficial and shallow, and that a guy wouldn't want a girl who wore pink, painted her nails, or appeared "girly" in any way.  So I spent most of my high school career trying to fit in with the guys.  I played sports with them, I tried to walk with a more manly gait, and I worked out, in an attempt to look more athletic like them.  I refused to wear skirts to school, on the basis that they were "impractical".  I didn't want to seem needy, so I would never let anyone else carry my backpack.  I loaded it with textbooks until it was over 30 pounds, and insisted on always carrying it myself, just to show that I could.  I ended up having a lot of guy friends.  They thought heavy backpacks were cool, they thought working out was cool, and they thought a quick game of hacky-sack over lunch was cool.  But when t

A lot of my friends are headed off to college, and about to live away from home for the first time, so I thought I'd make a post for them.  If you are a returning student, you may also find this helpful. So here's my advice for college life: Go to bed at a reasonable hour.  You may not have classes as early as you did in high school, and Mom's not making you go to bed at nine, but maintaining your usual bedtime is still a good idea.  It keeps you healthy, and it helps keep balance and consistency. Get up at the same time every day .  This also is healthy and fosters consistency.  You probably will not have your first class at the same time every day, but morning routines are crucial. Don't get involved in other people's drama.   It's none of your business, and it's not worth your time.  Everyone wants to help in some way, but it's not your job to solve your friends' problems.  They are adults, and they can do that themselves.  You have your o

To all the young ladies out there, here are some practical tips for living out your best life: Don't get into a car with a stranger unless it's your Uber driver. If someone doesn't like you, it's their loss, not yours. Never date a loser out of sympathy. It has been said, "Don't spend more than $10 on mascara", but I say, "Don't spend more than $4.99 on mascara." The first time you wear a new pair of shoes, bring bandaids in your purse. Always carry a pen with you. Know how to use pepper spray.  And that includes reading the owners manual! Call your mom at least once a week! Your dignity is not measured in inches around your waste. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Your family is the group that you'll have contact with the longest.  Don't let any other relationship come between you and your family. Leggings aren't pants. There's no such thing as a perfect person. Don't travel without money. Don't

To all the women who have lost motherhood through abortion, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the ways we have failed you. I'm sorry for all the tears you cry silently, after the rest of the world has gone to sleep. I'm sorry for the invisible pain that you carry everywhere you go. I'm sorry for the pang you feel whenever you're at a child's birthday party. I'm sorry you cannot hear your child's heartbeat. I'm sorry you will never know your baby's gender, hair color, or eye color. I'm sorry you can never see his little feet running, or hear her precious laughter. I'm sorry that you've been robbed of the chance to cradle your child in your arms. I'm sorry there was nobody there for you when you needed help. I'm sorry you went through a traumatic and violating procedure. I'm sorry we have lied that this is empowering. I'm sorry we told you that this was your best choice, and then left you afterwards. I'

To all the children who have been lost to abortion: On behalf of society, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we shoved your mothers into the clinic instead of counseling them through their crises. I'm sorry that we didn't love them enough to take care of them. I'm sorry that we didn't love you enough to protect you. I'm sorry that we have voted to have their bodies and yours violated. I'm sorry that we broke your mother's heart by stopping yours. I'm sorry that we did not give you a voice when you were voiceless. I'm sorry that we've inflicted the ultimate pain on you both. I'm sorry for leaving your mother alone to face her pain afterwards. I'm sorry for failing to address the before-math and aftermath of abortion. I'm sorry we weren't there for either of you. I'm sorry for not stopping to hear the beating of your tiny heart. I'm sorry for not showing your mom your little footprints. I'm sorry for not gi