When I was very young, I somehow got the idea that a boy wouldn't like me unless I was more like a boy. I thought that feminine qualities were seen as superficial and shallow, and that a guy wouldn't want a girl who wore pink, painted her nails, or appeared "girly" in any way. So I spent most of my high school career trying to fit in with the guys. I played sports with them, I tried to walk with a more manly gait, and I worked out, in an attempt to look more athletic like them. I refused to wear skirts to school, on the basis that they were "impractical". I didn't want to seem needy, so I would never let anyone else carry my backpack. I loaded it with textbooks until it was over 30 pounds, and insisted on always carrying it myself, just to show that I could. I ended up having a lot of guy friends. They thought heavy backpacks were cool, they thought working out was cool, and they thought a quick game of hacky-sack over lunch was cool. But when the dances came around, I never got a date. I was disappointed with myself, and I wondered what I was doing wrong.
These days, women are being encouraged more than before to be independent, pursue their career ambitions, and build their lives without the help of a man. When a woman is in a relationship, she is pressured to be self-sufficient, but without emasculating the man. We have a crisis of men who are trying to be leaders and protectors, but without letting the women feel dependent on them. This leads to tension and confusion, which gets written off as a "gender-roles" dispute.
In our culture, we are serious about not emasculating men. But isn't anyone concerned about the de-feminization of women? As a woman, I've believed that femininity is unattractive to men. I've believed that I will not be pursued unless I make it easy. I've been told countless times that if I don't have my own career, if I let a man provide for me, then I am not living up to my full potential as a woman. But what is my womanly potential? Where is my identity as a woman if I make myself the same as a man in every possible way?
As women, we are the most beautiful and most life giving creatures in the world! There is no way to change that. A woman will always have an identity unique from that of a man. Pope Saint John Paul II spoke of a "Feminine Genius", which consists of receptivity, sensitivity, generosity, and maternity. These qualities are found especially in women.
We are the ones who carry new life into the world. When we are open and receptive to new life, we bring creation to its fullness. We have so much power just in the cycle of nature! But there are many other ways to be receptive, even in the mundaneness of everyday life. When a man exercises chivalry, he finds ways to serve a woman, by opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc... His service is a gift, and it is our choice whether or not to accept it. He is not serving a woman because she is needy or dependent, but rather because he sees her as worthy of his service. A true gentlemen will do this for all women, not just one he finds attractive, because he recognizes the value of every woman. We can either respond with rejection, or we can flex our feminine genius by accepting his gift of chivalry.
Have you ever wondered why women tend to be more emotional than men? When a woman is pregnant, she is typically more emotional. Even in our monthly cycles, there are points at which we are more sensitive. Our emotions and sensitivity help us to recognize the needs of others. We have a way of intuitively seeing the needs and opportunities of the world, even at times when men do not. This leads us to our next quality.
We are generous in the natural ways we respond to the needs of others. When we sense a need, we have an inborn desire to fulfill it. I was once at a campus coffee shop, and trying to use the last of my dining dollars before the end of the semester. I was completely prepared to use my debit card for the last dollar or so of my purchase. But when the lady swiped my card and said it was 99 cents short, before I could hand her my debit card, the girl behind me in line reached over the counter and handed over her meal card. She had extra dining dollars, and wanted to cover my candy bar. I was lost for words at first. She had just taken away my opportunity to be self-sufficient! But then I realized, she was not lording anything over me. She didn't see me as weak or unable to care for myself. Rather, she saw the situation as an opportunity to be caring, and give of herself. She felt a natural desire to give, even if it was not necessarily needed. This was to her a way of expressing love to a fellow student.
As women, we also have beautiful nurturing qualities. These are expressed in maternity, whether physical, spiritual, or through friendships. We hear about archetypes like the mamma bear, and the mother hen. Most women do not constantly express these every day in their personality, but you may know a woman who will always get mad when she sees injustice, or who will go far out of her way to make sure everyone is taken care of. Typically, though, women will have motherly instincts toward the people entrusted to their care, whether they be their children, students, patients, clients, or the other adults in their carpool. In our society, we need women who will be nurturing and caring to us. Love and belonging have been identified by Maslow* as human psychological needs. We need nurture, support, and affirmation everywhere we go.
By being receptive, sensitive, generous, and maternal, we are flourishing in our potential. We are making the home, the workplace, and society a life-filled and beautiful atmosphere. Let's embrace our feminine identities, and transform the world!
These days, women are being encouraged more than before to be independent, pursue their career ambitions, and build their lives without the help of a man. When a woman is in a relationship, she is pressured to be self-sufficient, but without emasculating the man. We have a crisis of men who are trying to be leaders and protectors, but without letting the women feel dependent on them. This leads to tension and confusion, which gets written off as a "gender-roles" dispute.
In our culture, we are serious about not emasculating men. But isn't anyone concerned about the de-feminization of women? As a woman, I've believed that femininity is unattractive to men. I've believed that I will not be pursued unless I make it easy. I've been told countless times that if I don't have my own career, if I let a man provide for me, then I am not living up to my full potential as a woman. But what is my womanly potential? Where is my identity as a woman if I make myself the same as a man in every possible way?
As women, we are the most beautiful and most life giving creatures in the world! There is no way to change that. A woman will always have an identity unique from that of a man. Pope Saint John Paul II spoke of a "Feminine Genius", which consists of receptivity, sensitivity, generosity, and maternity. These qualities are found especially in women.
We are the ones who carry new life into the world. When we are open and receptive to new life, we bring creation to its fullness. We have so much power just in the cycle of nature! But there are many other ways to be receptive, even in the mundaneness of everyday life. When a man exercises chivalry, he finds ways to serve a woman, by opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc... His service is a gift, and it is our choice whether or not to accept it. He is not serving a woman because she is needy or dependent, but rather because he sees her as worthy of his service. A true gentlemen will do this for all women, not just one he finds attractive, because he recognizes the value of every woman. We can either respond with rejection, or we can flex our feminine genius by accepting his gift of chivalry.
Have you ever wondered why women tend to be more emotional than men? When a woman is pregnant, she is typically more emotional. Even in our monthly cycles, there are points at which we are more sensitive. Our emotions and sensitivity help us to recognize the needs of others. We have a way of intuitively seeing the needs and opportunities of the world, even at times when men do not. This leads us to our next quality.
We are generous in the natural ways we respond to the needs of others. When we sense a need, we have an inborn desire to fulfill it. I was once at a campus coffee shop, and trying to use the last of my dining dollars before the end of the semester. I was completely prepared to use my debit card for the last dollar or so of my purchase. But when the lady swiped my card and said it was 99 cents short, before I could hand her my debit card, the girl behind me in line reached over the counter and handed over her meal card. She had extra dining dollars, and wanted to cover my candy bar. I was lost for words at first. She had just taken away my opportunity to be self-sufficient! But then I realized, she was not lording anything over me. She didn't see me as weak or unable to care for myself. Rather, she saw the situation as an opportunity to be caring, and give of herself. She felt a natural desire to give, even if it was not necessarily needed. This was to her a way of expressing love to a fellow student.
As women, we also have beautiful nurturing qualities. These are expressed in maternity, whether physical, spiritual, or through friendships. We hear about archetypes like the mamma bear, and the mother hen. Most women do not constantly express these every day in their personality, but you may know a woman who will always get mad when she sees injustice, or who will go far out of her way to make sure everyone is taken care of. Typically, though, women will have motherly instincts toward the people entrusted to their care, whether they be their children, students, patients, clients, or the other adults in their carpool. In our society, we need women who will be nurturing and caring to us. Love and belonging have been identified by Maslow* as human psychological needs. We need nurture, support, and affirmation everywhere we go.
By being receptive, sensitive, generous, and maternal, we are flourishing in our potential. We are making the home, the workplace, and society a life-filled and beautiful atmosphere. Let's embrace our feminine identities, and transform the world!
*Mcleod, Saul. “Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.” Simply Psychology, Simply Psychology, 21 May 2018, www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html.
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