Queen Maureen

When I was very young, I somehow got the idea that a boy wouldn't like me unless I was more like a boy.  I thought that feminine qualities were seen as superficial and shallow, and that a guy wouldn't want a girl who wore pink, painted her nails, or appeared "girly" in any way.  So I spent most of my high school career trying to fit in with the guys.  I played sports with them, I tried to walk with a more manly gait, and I worked out, in an attempt to look more athletic like them.  I refused to wear skirts to school, on the basis that they were "impractical".  I didn't want to seem needy, so I would never let anyone else carry my backpack.  I loaded it with textbooks until it was over 30 pounds, and insisted on always carrying it myself, just to show that I could.  I ended up having a lot of guy friends.  They thought heavy backpacks were cool, they thought working out was cool, and they thought a quick game of hacky-sack over lunch was cool. ...